A couples conversation guide
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Welcome

Before you start, enter both first names. This helps the app make clear who's speaking and who's listening at each step.

🔒 Names and any other information you enter here are not saved or collected anywhere. This app is free to use and stores no data.
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A space to talk, really talk

This guide helps you and your partner slow down, notice what's happening inside yourselves, and have a conversation from a calmer, more connected place.

It takes around 20 to 30 minutes. There are no right answers, just honest ones.

How it works

  • 1You each check in with how you're feeling in your body right now.
  • 2You choose a topic to talk about together.
  • 3The guide gives you prompts, one at a time, to help the conversation stay steady and kind.
  • 4You close with a simple connection ritual.

If things feel too heated at any point, it's fine to pause. Regulated is more important than resolved.

Person A — your check-in

How's your nervous system right now, ...?

Before you talk, just notice. Not how you think you should feel, how you actually feel in your body. Take a breath and pick the one that fits best.

🟢 Settled I feel calm, present, and open. Ready to connect.
🟡 A bit edgy Slightly anxious or tense. I'm here but I might need to go slowly.
🔴 Activated Stressed or overwhelmed. My body feels wound up or shut down.
🫧 Disconnected Flat or numb. I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now.
Person B — your check-in

And how are you feeling, ...?

Same question, just for you. No comparing with your partner, this is just your honest read on yourself right now.

🟢 Settled I feel calm, present, and open. Ready to connect.
🟡 A bit edgy Slightly anxious or tense. I'm here but I might need to go slowly.
🔴 Activated Stressed or overwhelmed. My body feels wound up or shut down.
🫧 Disconnected Flat or numb. I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now.

How you're both arriving

What would you like to talk about?

Choose one topic. You can do this exercise again another time with a different one.

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Feeling close
Connection, distance, what brings us together
🌊
A recurring difficulty
Something that keeps coming up between us
Life pressure
Work, money, family, the load we're carrying
What we want
Hopes, plans, what we're moving towards
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Appreciation
What I notice, value, and don't always say

The conversation

Work through the prompts at your own pace. One person speaks, the other listens fully, then swap. Take your time.

When you're speaking

Use "I feel..." and "I notice...". Speak about your own experience, not what your partner did.

When you're listening

Stay with what they're saying. No fixing, no defending, just trying to understand.

Prompt 1 of 4
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Feeling flooded? If either of you feels too activated to continue, it's fine to stop. Say "I need a break" and take at least 20 minutes apart before returning. This isn't giving up, it's looking after each other.

Closing together

Before you move on with your day, take a moment to land back together. Choose one thing from the list below, or create your own.

A closing gesture

  • 🤝Hold hands for 30 seconds without speaking. Just feel the contact.
  • 🫂A hug that lasts at least 20 seconds. Long enough to let the nervous system settle into it.
  • 👀Look at each other for a moment. Soft eyes, no agenda. Just seeing each other.
  • 🗣️Each say one thing: "Thank you for..." It doesn't have to be big.
  • Make a cup of tea or something together. A shared, ordinary moment.

A quick check-out

Before you close, each say, in a sentence or two: how do you feel compared to when you started? You don't need to have solved anything. Sometimes just being heard is enough.

"The goal isn't a perfect conversation. It's two people trying to stay close while being honest."